Sometimes a relationship can feel like a tangled necklace. We have trouble understanding our partner’s perspective or theirs. We may be committed to each other for good or bad, but we aren’t always able to resolve the tangles or conflicts we face in marriage. It can be difficult to resolve conflicts.

When I reached for my necklace this morning, I discovered it was tangled in my luggage from a recent vacation. I started unravelling the necklace, even though I didn’t have the time. It was then that I realized I had been untying knots all my life. I’m still the person to go to for knots to this day.

Transform Conflict into Understanding and Compassion

I was curious about why tangles were so interesting to me. This led to 100% success. The biggest difference was that I knew I and I could untangle every knot or tangle. Tangles no longer cause frustration but can be a fun challenge, from tangle to dance. Success is not dependent on any particular talent, acquired skill, or fortitude. It is a matter of a mindset.

What if couples saw conflict as an opportunity to build closeness and understanding?

This perspective changes how we approach our partners. Instead of getting frustrated by their behaviour, we understand that there is compassion, understanding, connection, and forgiveness on both sides. However, to achieve this, we must build a bridge between our differences.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a knot in a necklace or a tangle in the garden hose or a love story; there are a few key mind shifts that will help you win knots and tangles back into their natural beauty.

Conflict Resolution: Accept the invitation for closeness

When they stumble upon a conflict, people often feel frustrated. People often want the experience to be different from it, which can lead to frustration. The husband, for example, said the other night that he thought we should be able to communicate when one of us reacts without pleading and punishing. They would if they could.

It is just like a knot in your necklace or shoestring. It will not be different no matter how much you try to deny it. Although the man in the above example may not have liked his treatment, his wife felt overwhelmed, and her survival brain was activated. Acceptance is the only way to show empathy to your partner, create a safe space and allow you to feel your pain and choose to love.

We can’t change our experiences if we have an expectation that is different from what is possible at the moment. Instead of focusing on the positive, we focus our attention on the negative. A relationship spat or tangle can be a fun adventure that brings people closer if we view it as an opportunity to grow our relationship. It is up to each of us.

Steps to Regain Perspective & Connection in Relationships

1. Accept the reality of life.

You’ll be able to have a more loving relationship with your partner if you relax and allow it to happen. Resisting what is happening can cause us to not be present to our feelings and pain.

2. Believe it’s possible to make changes.

It’s possible to love and grow together. Don’t lose sight of your partner and the potential for your relationship.

3. Change your attitude from anger and frustration to curiosity, exploration, and compassion

Emotions can become tangled and can cause conflict. Take some time to calm down before you react.

4. Get in touch to discuss what you desire in a relationship.

It could be their mutual respect or closeness. The couple may ask themselves “How can we communicate differently when one of our triggers?” We can confidently move forward with our vision of a loving relationship when we are clear about it.

5. Concentrate on the outcome you want.

Too often, we focus on the negative aspects of a relationship and forget to see what we want. Focus on what you want, and make sure your actions match.