Even if nothing is “wrong,” there are signs that a relationship may not be right.
Breakups can be difficult. My own experience has shown that they can be more difficult if you cannot pinpoint the exact reason why a relationship failed. You may have experienced a connection (or a series of links) where there were no obvious warning signs or red flags, but still, something didn’t feel right.
It can be difficult to decide to leave when you don’t know the exact reason. While we don’t recommend giving up on the first obstacle or disagreement, it is important to recognize when something doesn’t feel right. Here are nine signs that you may not want to be in a relationship, even if there are no obvious red flags or disagreements.
You prefer to spend time with others.
You may have passed the honeymoon phase, and now you are less and less willing to spend quality time with your partner. The honeymoon period will end eventually, but if you find yourself avoiding plans with your partner or preferring to hang out with friends whenever you are free, it is not an indication of a healthy marriage. You should maintain your friendships with others but not always prioritize them over your relationship.
After spending time with someone, you feel exhausted.
It is important to acknowledge how you feel when you leave your partner. This can help you gauge the quality of your relationship. You may feel uplifted or energized. Or, you might leave feeling drained or relieved. Try to identify what about your time with each other is making you feel this way. Even in healthy relationships, not every day will be a breeze. But with good communication, you can feel positive about your time together.
You fantasize about being single again.
No matter how happy and healthy your relationship is, you may feel jealous when you see photos of your roommate traveling solo around Europe or seeing your best friend on an amazing first date. Suppose you’re constantly fantasizing about life as a single person and picturing your partner without you in a romantic manner. In that case, you might not be ready for a relationship at this time, even if there are no red flags.
When you’re apart, they are not missed.
Three of my favorite things are independence, Self-Care, and Self-Love. We all need boundaries and some time apart, but if your partner is absent a great deal and you don’t miss them, this could be an indication that the relationship isn’t right for you. They may be reaching out more than you or saying how much you miss them, but you don’t feel the same. You can tell if you’re feeling the same by being aware of their feelings.
You begin to get irritated.
We’ve all experienced it: the water trail your partner leaves behind after their shower is a source of irritation, the way they eat makes you resentful, and the song that plays on their alarm clock in the morning can make you want to scream. It doesn’t matter what it is. You can’t love everyone, but you also cannot have a healthy relationship with someone who is constantly irritating. You can work on your relationship by communicating the things that bother you in a loving and friendly way. If it is more of a feeling than a situation or phase, it could be that the relationship is to blame.
You don’t want to be the first one to tell them good news.
It’s important to keep your other relationships strong. Sharing the good news of a promotion with your mother or best friend can be a wonderful thing. If you are sharing your wins with others instead of your partner out of fear, they won’t be as happy or give you the response you want; this could be a “pink flag,” which is an extremely subtle red flag that you may not notice at first. Bottom line: Your significant other should be your biggest supporter and want to celebrate with you.
They feel like they’re getting in your way of living the life you desire
You may resent them or think that being with them prevents you from achieving your goals. You may love your partner and want to spend time with them. But it can feel like you have to choose between them and other things in life. For example, a career you are proud of, living in the city that you desire, or having an active social life. It can be not easy to compromise in a relationship, but you have to do it if you’re going to stay together.
The lack of intimacy is a persistent problem.
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to a healthy sex life in relationships. However, if you are unable to communicate what your needs are, then trouble is sure to follow. There are no two people who have the same sexual drive, expectations, or desires. This is why it’s important to discuss these needs openly and honestly. If you and your partner cannot agree on what you want, you may interpret the current state of your sex as a lack of intimacy. This will also translate into a deficiency of intimacy outside the bedroom. P.S. If you are and are never attracted by them, what happens if they’re always? A red flag.
You don’t want to argue.
We are aware of the red flags which indicate a toxic relationship. These include constant arguments or disagreements about important life issues. It’s also a warning sign if you have no conflicts. Are you too tired to discuss any disputes or concerns with your partner, for example? You may not be interested in talking about your problems. You may think that it is better to keep these things to yourself, but if you don’t care enough to disagree with someone, you are not motivated to work to improve the relationship. Communication can be lost interest, which in turn can lead to a connection being abandoned.