3 Things You Must Never Do in Love and Marriage

Noemi J. Mullins

Did you ever get into an argument with your partner and then forget how it began?

We all have our perspectives, so there will be times when we disagree. If disagreements turn into fights that damage the relationship, any comments during an upset state can lead to future hurt. Some rules must be followed when it comes to marriage and love. These rules will help you get to the heart of a great couple. These guidelines are not to be broken. It will cause you to lose your love, disintegrate your relationship, and create a wedge between you and your partner.

Love is what you should be fighting for. Each day should be more loving than the previous. Resist the urge to be impulsive and to lash out at others. It is worth fighting for love. It is not worth losing the love between two people.

Rules of Engagement in Conflict

Rule #1: Do not use the “D” word.

We vow to each other “for better” or “for worse” when we vow. Threatening divorce can cause a great deal of instability in marriage. Even if you don’t mean it, it can be a form of mental and emotional slavery. To avoid such threats, you should agree with one another. If your fights get out of control and become frequent, seek professional help. Remember that happiness is your job and not your partner’s.

Rule #2: Don’t make past vulnerable moments between you into poisonous darts.

Sometimes, couples will sling at each other for things they don’t agree on. This can lead to a feeling of security, vulnerability, and connection. Your partner might tell you that her ex-boyfriend used to call her fat and make fun of her. You poke fun at her for gaining weight when you get angry. Your spouse may also share that you didn’t have any affection growing up, so it’s not natural to show affection.

Trust is damaged when you make these little tidbits into sarcasm jokes or zingers for your partner. You may find your partner less willing to share their tenderness in the future. You don’t want to say anything you regret later!

Rule #3: Don’t be too serious.

Most arguments in relationships arise from taking ourselves too seriously. Conflict is normal because we are all unique. But, when we place being right above being close, we compromise understanding and the possibility of emotional intimacy. Believing you are right and making your partner wrong will only lead to hurt, distance, and a barrier to meaningful conversation. The more you fight, you will be less open to listening, and you will need to build higher walls of protection.

I learned restraint when I was married. I grew up in a renowned family for their long, mean and intelligent arguments. I made one vow to myself that I would not use my verbal weapons against my husband. This decision was a great step in my personal growth and created more safety in our marriage.

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