Self-compassion: How to boost your confidence
Perhaps you’ve asked yourself, “How can they believe in themselves so fully when I doubt myself constantly and wonder if I am enough?”
Perhaps you believe your friends are more qualified, talented, intelligent, attractive, or experienced than you, which is why they are so confident…
However, it is not always because someone is smarter, smarter, or more confident than you. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Humans are made up of both good and bad things. If someone is not confident, they will spend most of their time focusing only on the things they don’t do well and beating themselves up about it.
When someone is confident, however, they tend not to focus on their shortcomings or to be critical of themselves. Instead, they encourage themselves to succeed by talking to themselves positively and encouragingly, rather than being harshly critical.
Let me clarify: I don’t mean being proud or feeling the need to brag about your greatness. This quiet inner confidence allows you to trust your abilities and not constantly doubt them.
People are naturally inclined to be harsh and critical of themselves. You can also develop a negative view of yourself in your youth. Perhaps you were a victim of negative influences or teachers growing up, making it seem like you weren’t worthy. It’s not your fault that you feel like you don’t have enough or aren’t good enough. Many people feel like this. There are ways to change this perception and feel better about yourself.
Self-compassion can be a powerful tool to boost self-esteem and confidence. People tend to be compassionate and kind to others but harsh and critical of their behavior. They feel better about themselves when they show compassion and kindness to others.
To cultivate self-compassion, the first step is to pay attention to your thoughts and how you talk to yourself throughout the day. Do you think thoughts or use words to talk to yourself that you wouldn’t mind sharing with someone you love and care about? Tell your child or sister, ” You are so bad.” You could also coach them by saying, ” I’m sorry you didn’t succeed, but I believe you can do it, let’s do it again.” Speaking to yourself as you would to a friend can be helpful. It can be very helpful to catch and gently shift negative self-talk and improve your confidence.
You can also be negatively affected by other factors. Self-compassion is a good option. These are:
BASING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM UPON THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS
Many people depend on others for validation and confidence. They will feel more attractive if others compliment their appearance. Or they will feel they have done a good job if someone praises it. To feel happy about their lives and themselves, they rely heavily on the opinions and judgments of others. This makes your self-worth fragile if you base it on other people’s opinions. This means you can feel awful about yourself if everyone around you is down. This means you’re leaving your feelings about yourself in the hands and control of others. It is much more beneficial than relying on others to validate you. You can give yourself validation by treating yourself with compassion.
You can be kind to yourself by celebrating, valuing, and appreciating your work. You don’t need to wait for others to praise you about your appearance to feel better about yourself.
SPENDING A LOT of TIME COMPARING YOURSELF TO THE OTHERS
People often feel awful about themselves when they compare themselves to others. This is not fair because they compare the “best version” of another person (the one they want to show the world) with the “worst version of themselves (because they only will be able to see all their faults and insecurities). People also tend to make social comparisons that go upward. They will compare themselves with people they consider “better” than them, but not with people who aren’t as good as they are. They also feel worse about themselves. When someone compares themselves to others, a lot of their narrative is harsh and critical. They beat themselves up and are critical of themselves for not being “good enough”.
Nurturing a more compassionate and kinder inner voice can change that narrative. If someone is kind to themselves, they can be a source of inspiration and positive encouragement and not a reason to beat themselves up or feel bad. Even better, they will be more focused on their success than what others do.
DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO CHANGE IT?
Social creatures are drawn to being part of a group. However, needing conformity and being someone or something others think we should lead to decreased confidence and mental health. We will never feel “good enough” if we believe we don’t deserve to be loved and accepted for who we are. Talking to yourself with kindness and compassion is key to allowing yourself to be who you are. Instead of beating yourself up about not being like another person, celebrate what makes you different.