One Love is dedicated to helping people understand the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Healthy relationships are positive and lift you. Negative ones can make you feel unhappy and cause you to feel stifled. Although most of our #ThatsNotLove content is focused on unhealthy behavior, we want to help you see the benefits of healthy relationships. With the right person, it’s possible to have a happy, healthy relationship. Here are five essentials to having a healthy and happy relationship.

Communication

It’s no secret that you’ve heard the cliche, “communication is key.” Communication is key to a healthy relationship. When starting a relationship, it is important to communicate what you want and need. This can sometimes mean being honest with your partner and having difficult conversations. But if you are in a healthy relationship, you will be open and willing to listen – and you should too. It’s important to communicate with your partner. This includes being open and honest about your problems and allowing your partner to compromise on your disagreements. Also, complementing one another is equally important. Communication is essential, but you must be comfortable talking to each other. It’s unhealthy for your partner to expect you to answer all their texts and phone calls immediately. If your partner ignores your messages and makes you feel bad, that’s also not healthy. Finding a balance in communication that both of you are comfortable with is crucial.

Respect

Respecting your partner is about listening to them. This means being able to listen and trying to understand their point of view. Respect your partner’s opinions and choices, even if they disagree with you about the next President or Team Kimye. Do not try to convince them to change their minds about important things, such as going abroad for a semester or where to live after graduation. A healthy relationship will foster mutual respect between the partners. Even if you don’t always agree with each other, that doesn’t mean your relationship can’t work. Respecting your partner’s privacy is key to building respect in a relationship. It is not your right to know everything about your partner and their interactions. This means you should be sensitive to your partner’s feelings and refrain from doing things that could hurt them. For example, keeping private conversations between you two. A healthy relationship doesn’t mean knowing your partner’s passcodes or getting the pink heart emoticon next to their name on Snapchat. It’s great to share these things, but healthy relationships need space and filters!

Boundaries

Each person has boundaries about what makes them feel safe, happy, and comfortable. You should feel comfortable sharing your boundaries with your partner and be confident they will not be violated. You can decide only to meet up 3 times per week. If you prefer to be intimate with your partner, that’s okay. But it is fine if you feel you need more private time. It would be best if you weren’t afraid or nervous to establish personal boundaries in any relationship. If you feel that your friend or partner is trying to control you by telling you not to go out with friends or asking you to share passwords with them, it’s time for you to reconsider the relationship.

Trust

This is a huge one. Healthy relationships depend on mutual trust and open communication between partners. No matter your past experiences, such as a cheating ex, or a divorce from a parent, a healthy relationship will require trust. Remember that trust takes time, and it doesn’t always happen overnight. Respect your partner’s feelings and trust them. It’s not right to cheat on your partner or make them jealous. You should not be with your partner if you don’t trust them. Don’t allow your partner to use your lack of trust or experience as an excuse to control or question you. Your relationship will be stronger if you show your partner love, support, respect and communication.

Support

A supportive partner is a key component of a healthy relationship. Your partner should support you in all aspects of your relationship, from standing up for you when you are being treated unfairly to being there for you whenever you need it. Your partner will not manipulate, control or put you down. They will protect you but not be too possessive. They will encourage you and your family to have fun, spend time together and work towards your goals. They will support you in achieving your goals and will not stop you from reaching them. A healthy relationship will allow you to feel your best and not feel like you need to make big changes or sacrifices for the relationship to thrive.