Are you a new couple? 15 pieces of advice to help you build a healthy relationship

Noemi J. Mullins

Your relationship in real life would look like this: You could lock eyes and know inside your heart that they are The One. This would lead to you baking together, taking sunset walks holding hands, and perhaps a tandem bike ride. It’s no surprise that relationships develop less cinematically in real-life. It can be challenging to start a relationship, but it can make or break your love life. These 15 tips will help you get started in a new relationship.

READ MOREThe future is now, so focus on the present

Bringing your negative experiences and fears to a new relationship is normal. This is a survival mechanism to avoid getting your heart broken again. Even though old fears and insecurities can prevent heartbreak, it can also hinder your ability to be happy in a new relationship. Don’t be afraid to trust your partner if you have had a relationship with someone who was not faithful. You should be focusing on the unique qualities of your new partner. You should trust your new partner if they are trustworthy enough to date.

The “dating history conversation” is also important, but don’t rush to it. Spend your first few dates getting acquainted with your partner’s interests, likes, dreams, personality traits, and lifestyle. It’s not necessary to discuss your past relationships on the first date. You can also learn about their dating history before you get to know their siblings and where they were born.

It’s never too early to start talking about the future

While it is important to not dwell on the past, you need to focus on the future at least partially. You don’t have to ask them how many children they want (and probably shouldn’t), but it’s not a good idea to wait to find out if they are serious about marriage after a year of dating. Although it’s not always easy to discuss things such as life goals, religion, and marriage, you should bring your deal-breakers to the conversation so that you can at least see the future together. Communicate your goals, regardless of whether you are looking for a long-term relationship or a casual affair.

You should be attracted to the person and not the idea of a relationship

Sometimes we just want to be with someone (dating burnout is real). We don’t realize that we are more attracted than the person in the relationship. You can put other people in boxes they don’t belong to (or don’t want in) and force a spark. Because you are convinced that this must work, flaws and red flags will be ignored. Instead, accept your partner as they are. Consider them and not The One. Is it possible that they are still someone you would want to spend time with? If you find their company so enjoyable that you would want to spend your time with them regardless of whether they were “The One”, then you are likely to be attracted to them.

Do not skip the sex talk

It should be obvious that you don’t feel comfortable speaking to your partner about your sexual health, including history and STD testing. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your partner about sexual health (including STD testing, history, etc.), then it’s probably not the right time for you to be intimate. Talk about your likes and dislikes, while listening to theirs. Don’t forget to mention that every couple has their “right time” for intimacy. Forget the “three-date rule” and other stupid guidelines. And remember, just one partner is enough.

Make friends with each other

You may feel tempted to keep the relationship private, especially if it is a new relationship. It is important to make friends as soon as possible. How you interact with your partner’s friends can tell you a lot about the person and how they will treat each other. If all your partner’s friends happen to be huge douches, it could mean that you don’t know your partner as well. ).

You can also highlight potential red flags by having your new partner in the company of your friends. You might be able to see things that your friends don’t, or you might not get along as well with your partner as you thought. You can build a friendship with your friends if you fit in well with each other. This means you don’t have to choose whether you want to hang out with friends or together.

Do not send important messages to text

When it comes to checking in and sending humorous memes to your partner while at work, texting can be a blessing. Texting should be used only for making plans and laughing at TikToks. Talking about your feelings or expressing disagreements with another person should be done in person. Texting can make it awkward for people to communicate with each other. If you sense an argument coming on, and you are in a position where you cannot at least talk over the telephone, tell your partner that you will discuss it together.

Your ex should not be brought up

Even if you weren’t the one who ended your previous relationship, it’s normal to compare your new partner to your old one. Remember how you are supposed to let the past be the past? Newsflash: Your ex is no longer your partner (thank you, God!). They don’t want you to hear about your ex. To get to know each other better, it’s important to have a “dating histories” conversation. But, is it really necessary? While no one wants to feel judged by another, it can be destructive to try to compare your relationship with past experiences instead of enjoying the present. Elsa said it best: Let it go.

Relationships don’t have to be 50/50 – they can be 100/100

One of the most valuable pieces of relationship advice I have ever received was that relationships are not all about compromise and trying to get 50/50. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to give up all you think you are worth. To have a successful, happy, and long-lasting relationship, you must give everything you can. While there will be conflicts, and they will get worse the longer you are together, you should give your all to the relationship. Relationship responsibilities cannot be divided like a check at a dinner date.

Communicate what you feel often

A relationship is the beginning of a long-lasting relationship. Be sure to listen to your partner and talk through any problems. You can consult a relationship therapist if you are unsure about the best communication tools to use when having disagreements with your partner.

Sex and the City got another thing wrong. Your friends shouldn’t always be your relationship sounding board. You should always have support, but if you are having a hard time understanding your partner, try to look inward rather than outward. Instead of complaining to your friends, talk it out with your partner. PS: Your partner does not have the ability to read your mind, so don’t expect them to know everything. Instead of expecting perfection, tell your partner what you want.

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