Three Big Roadblocks in Relationships
There are both little and big roadblocks in relationships. While most relationships can survive speed bumps, when partners make big mistakes, continue to hurt each other, or create roadblocks that prevent them from loving and loving one another, things begin to slide. Sometimes it happens slowly, sometimes suddenly, and sometimes with an affair. What if you could replace unloving behavior and roadblocks with loving behaviors to create a healthy relationship? Are you looking for love advice?
Roadblocks that Block Love
Three common roadblocks to loving are those that couples often reinforce, unintentionally or not. These issues in a relationship or marriage can create static, making effective communication nearly impossible.
Relationship roadblock #1: Understanding your partner’s needs
Competing for each partner’s needs is the first roadblock to a relationship. It’s easy to fall into this competitive mindset in our highly competitive society. While competition is fun in sports, it can lead to problems when it comes down to relationships. If we don’t meet our needs, we block the other person and get into power struggles.
Sometimes we also compete, mistakingly believing that it is the partner’s responsibility to meet our needs. We are responsible for our own needs, and the more we can give love and energy to our partner, the better.
Everybody has different needs, and each one is equally important. One of you may want to spend the evening alone after a long day at work, and the other wants to go out for dinner or a movie. What happens in most cases? One wins. The other feels empty and maybe even resentful.
There’s another way. There is another way. Stop arguing and create solutions that make you both happy and fulfilled. The solution to the above problem might be going out to dinner and then returning home to watch a movie together. This will meet both of your needs. You might plan to go out on a night when your partner feels well and comfortable in public. It’s harder to provide for your needs during a Covid pandemic so think outside the box. You can host a candlelit dinner at your home or set up a gym in your basement. Or you could pitch a tent in your living area and go camping.
LOVE ADVICE – Do not settle for a plan until you are happy. It is not compromised that nurtures the partnership. It’s a commitment for both of you to meet your needs equally!
#2 Relationship roadblock: The Habit of Criticism & Faultfinding
Trying to find fault and criticize others is another common obstacle to healthy relationships. Our brain has one job: to keep us safe. The brain does this by alerting any dangers and keeping us safe. It is easy to criticize your partner or fall into the trap of judging them. This is especially true if your childhood was filled with criticisms or you were not provided for emotional or physical safety. Your brain will be more alert if you have a poor upbringing.
Are you saying to yourself, “Why must he/she nag about every single thing?” Or “Why can’t they clean up after themselves?” Or “Why can’t he/she just allow me to have a few moments of peace while I read the newspaper?” Or “It would be great if he/she could just take a moment to appreciate all that I do.” Do you feel this? These thoughts may be kept to ourselves but can lead to verbal criticisms, which can cause a breakdown in the relationship.
Although criticism can be subtle, it can still cause havoc in a relationship. The virus of criticism can spread quickly and ruin relationships.
LOVE ADVICE – This is a tip for creating healthy love. Convert criticism into appreciation. Focus on the positive aspects of your partner. You should be focusing on the things you love about your partner. You’ll help your brain learn to see the positive and not the negative. This simple but powerful tip will help you to see how situations that were once stressful can become moments of love, connection and connection.
Relationship roadblock #3: Expecting your partner to be a mind reader
The tendency to expect your partner to read your mind is the third major roadblock to a healthy and happy relationship.
My husband was an intuitive mind reader, and I believed this early in our marriage. Recognizing that I was frequently disappointed and felt like he didn’t care, I investigated the reasons. Guess what? My husband failed to acknowledge an important achievement of mine or bought flowers for me unannounced. I love flowers! He once said that we couldn’t afford these luxuries. “Then give me a bouquet for free or buy me one two-dollar rose.”
Another thing that bothered me was my husband’s tendency to watch TV instead of talking to me in the kitchen when I was making dinner. He would stew and pout. It would then come out of nowhere through an unkind comment or a sarcastic observation. Yes, I believed that he should KNOW what made him feel loved.
LOVE ADVICE – Tell your loved ones what you want and need. You’ll be able to have a positive relationship if you start to communicate your needs and desires. Learn more about your partner’s love language and what makes them feel most loved.