Conversation starters to bring up when you’re getting to know someone

Noemi J. Mullins

You may have a desire to be good friends but are unsure how. You met someone through a dating application, but you don’t know what to do next? You may be regulars in your local coffee shop, or you might have a common acquaintance at the gym. It can be confusing to know how to move from being strangers to something deeper once you reach adulthood.

If you find that this works, then it’s great! Sometimes, a simple “Hey, let’s actually meet up later” is the best.

Sometimes, it’s nerve-wracking for someone to ask you to hang out the first time. What are you going to talk about? What happens if it gets awkward during the conversation? Here are some topics for discussion to help you through those awkward moments.

Gush (or not)

What are your common interests? Do you both like makeup? What about a certain show? When you are both passionate about the same thing, it’s easy to become close. It’s important to find out what people care about, even if there are no common interests.

Remember the small details.

You’ll be able to warm up with someone if you recall what they have told you in the past. It’s always a pleasant surprise when someone follows up after I say something. You can start a conversation by asking about the concert they attended or their birthday.

Favorite movies/shows/books

The form of entertainment that someone enjoys can reveal a great deal about them. What is it that makes them choose these titles? Why? What do you think? What did they think of the Twilight films? Do they watch The Bachelor each week? Do they read Colleen Hover?

You can ask about their home address.

The definition of home is different for everyone. What do they like about their hometown? Why did they leave?

The story of their choice

One of my college professors made every student stand in front of the class to tell their favorite story. This was a great way for them to improve their storytelling and communication skills. Everybody has a story. He called it Story Day. Everyone’s stories are unique, whether you fished headphones out of the sewer grates or were caught sneaking away. Ask your new friend about their favorite story and share yours.

What are their daily Spotify mixes?

Does anyone else find it strange that your Daily Mix 1 can consist of all of your favorite bands from a specific sub-genre? At the same time, your Daily Mix 3 is full of suggestions for music in a niche, hyper-specific genre you are considering listening to. The Daily Mixes we create is a great way to see what music we enjoy in different moods.

The best place they have ever visited/the destination they would most like to visit

Travel conversations can be some of the most interesting. You can have a great discussion about your past trips or future ones, whether you are able to share a must-see place at your favorite destination or if your friend has strong opinions on where NOT should go.

Where do you take someone who comes to visit you?

This conversation is great because the answers are always different. Even if people live next door, they will all have a different answer. This topic shows their appreciation and why.

Order coffee/gas stations

This conversation is a fun one. It highlights the person’s favorite pick-ups when they stop at a petrol station or their preferred way to order coffee. Are you a Snapple person? Two shots of vanilla or one? Decaf? There are so many options!

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